i need more timeeeeeee

if i could ask for anything at this moment, i'd ask for more time.

i'd want 36 hours in a day and that theres 9 days in a week. cus honestly, there just isnt enough time!

kudo's to all of em who've studied overseas and managed their time so efficiently that they can slot in all kinds of fun stuff like traveling, shopping and not screw up their studies. thats some really tough act to follow!

perhaps 2 years abroad isnt enough for me to do all things i wanted to do..

but i'm already tired of living this daily routine. the honest fact is, i've lost half the motivation i had when i first arrived here.

however i did find a different form of motivation to push me all the way to the finish line. so fret not, i'll definitely not screw up. badly. that is :P okay okay, i wont screw up. i cant screw up and i wont !

i am at the part of my life where i wanna slow things down, pause time for a minute or two. enjoy what i have and probably take that minute to think fully.

at this very point, i think the tables have turned and life is no longer,
'50% planning 50% up to god'. tis now '40% planning 60% up to god!'

though i seem quite relaxed now, i know in a few weeks time i'll be so swamped with assignments and everything else.. i doubt i can even see my head in all that mess. :P i definitely hate the calm before the storm. its like riding on the rollercoaster and your about to reach the peak just before the drop.

which in reality i'd just raise my hand and go

wheeeeeee..!

and enjoy the ride. which i hope aint too bumpy nor to winding. :D

ting-tang wala wala bing bang!

i dont know how other people's mind think.

probably cus im not taking psychology. nor will i ever wanna take that subject. the idea of dealing with other people's issue is just, overwhelmingly annoying. haha. man do i sound like a selfish brat. but seriously, i have enough issue's of my own to sort out in my own lil head. i dont need others people's thoughts.

so i'm taking my casual 15 minute rest from doing my project.

yes i'm a nocturnal when it comes to doing work. which pisses me off cus i'd normally wake up early with the mindset of starting my day early, do work early and finish early.

yet its never the case, its always. wake up early, stare at pc, get sleepy, afternoon naps, then when the clock reaches like 9pm or like last time around 3.30am. my mind is suddenly flooded with idea's and this lil digits i call fingers start tap dancing on the keyboard.

honestly it aint a good habit.

plus my work level works in a form of spurts.

American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source - Share This
spurt (spûrt) Pronunciation Key
n.

1. A sudden forcible gush or jet.
2. A sudden short burst, as of energy, activity, or growth.

v. spurt·ed, spurt·ing, spurts

v. intr.

1. To gush forth suddenly in a jet.
2. To make a brief intense effort or show a sudden increase in activity or speed.

v. tr.
To force out in a sudden jet.

tis annoying. cus when your sat at the desk for hours but the actual time spent doing the task is less than probably 2 hours a day.

its even the same for when i'm studying. i remember i'd doodle for half the time then suddenly start doing the math for a good 30 minutes of intense calculation or theory memorization then i'm doodling again.

btw i got this when i google-d for spurts. :P rather obscene but bear with me ey



oh and i find it really interesting that sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night from my sleep with the awesome-st idea's! but then cus i just cant be bothered to write them down.. i forget them when i wake up.

woopsie times up. back to work ladies.. :)

the vicious cycle of life.

freedom for students is normally associated when exams are over.
however sudden death is the feeling when exam results are about to come out.

okay maybe not sudden death, but more to mixed feelings. the anxiety attacks awaiting the results to be posted is just.. ughhh!

'did i do well? please god tell me i least got that question right. omg i cant handle this stress!'

then comes the judgment day. as you move your finger downwards searching for your id no. then slowly scrolling right towards all the marks.. from then on, its either;

'omfg i passed heck i aced all of em yayyyy!'
'oh okay. passed. decent marks. cant complain.' or
'shite. shite. shite. shite !'

its the very last one of those expressions which everyone hates. but in this cruel life, one thing i've learn is that you have to fall before you can taste greatness. its that old cliche saying of 'getting back on the horse after you fall'. corny, but true. i'm not saying its an easy act to do. trying not to be depressed when the shit hits the fan.



but its how you react to it which makes you more mature and probably an adult.

boohoo. man i hate that word; adult. bah!

i myself have felt the lowest point in my life. actually i think i started at the lowest point and slowly trotted upwards. i was the perfect example for high school screw ups. i hated it so much that i didnt wanna learn anything. it was just a place to meet friends and chat basically. but it came a point, though quite late that you'd feel guilty to yourself for not trying, guilty to your parents for wasting so much of their money and guilty for giving them false hope.

so like a switch being flicked on.

i decided to work a lil harder then i normally do and that has proved to be the pivotal changing point in my life.

okay i lied. after that there was the downfall of gf blunder. still.

what i'm trying to say is, picking yourself up is the hardest when your at your lowest. but when you do, you get this natural high which makes you feel like your a supernatural being and anything was possible. you start seeing life in a whole different picture. confidence and greatness comes in as well as a neat package.

so kids, message of the day is .. dont dwell, move on, work hard and remember to spend suffie drinks when you see him :D

lates.

boohoo

so yea, uni is back on track.

hence its time to abandon this blog !

muahhaha!

okay probably not. i'll try to find something more interesting to post. apart from words of misery from me. but since i dont have any good material to share with you guys. lemme start by talkin about what i normally do when i start up my pc in the morning..

my daily routine of internet dependent life.

start pc.
check emails. but hardly ever reply any of em. hahaha.
blogs.
footie.
gadgets.

end.

since my type of blog reading normally consist of photography type.. probably not you lots cup of coffee. but if any of you are interested. theres just tonnes of em actually, since nowadays blogging without photo's(like what i normally do) dont get much hits(like mine! yay!)

but i normally hop over to the likes of; shaolintiger, smashpop, glaringnotebook and from then on u just click on their links u probably end up onto another photoblog again :P

i hardly read bimbo blogs unless i'm utterly bored and at the point of slitting my wrist. cus i think their a waste of time and probably rantings of a the daily life of a bimbo themselves;

'today i went shopping.. i bought etc etc etc.. here are pix.. omfg im hawt.'

which normally ends up with spam comments and they go;

'this is my blog, i can say watever i want.. boohoo sniff snif booo..'

aaaanyways.

i reckon the most entertaining one would be geekologie its super funneh! plus theres also a link for thesuperficial which is a gossip blog about celebs.. funny as well.

so i'm off.

but before that.



amikkauu pandangan hidung kembang mautsssss ! :D

air

damnn... but still a mac to me. ;p

probably cause for jaw lock :D

the religious confession

i cannot claim that i am religious.

nor can i say that i am wise enough to preach about religion. i am not an extremist and god knows that i have done my fair share of sins in this world.

but i am one of the few who are lucky enough to have gone to the sacred lands to perform umrah. which has come to a surprise to most of my friends cus i dont look the part. i sorta have to agree .. heh.

so before i lose track of what i want to say.. just keep the comments to yourself for now. ;p

it was back in 1999, i was 14, young and still immature. yet the images of the sacred lands are quite vivid in my memory. being there in such a holy place, it does give you the shivers. not because of the weather, but you tend to look deep in your heart and think about all the sins you've committed. are you worthy in the eyes of god when the world has ended? will it be heaven or must you suffer hells fury first?

non the less the idea of being there was breath-taking.

now after 8 years, i might of gone off track at times. not performing my religious duty as often as i should. but when i do, i picture myself praying in that magnificent mosque. staring at the 'larger than what you see in the tele' kaabah. you suddenly realize how minuscule you are in this life.

taking sips of the holy water from a plastic cup.. it was so surreal.

'if money came for free, i would pray here from sunrise to sunset till i die cus even then i know it would not be enough..'

i wouldnt mind going there again, but part of me is saying that i should sort my life out first..

vividly, the views of the great mosque lingers in my mind each time i pray and raise my hands for doa after prayers...

'tis to you whom we shall return to .. so have mercy, i beg of you.. your almighty..'



p/s: back in 1999 digital camera's were still crap plus i dont have copies of the pictures taken back then. so these are ripped pictures off google :P

nearly there

as the holidays are coming to an end.. my midterm report will soon reach its dateline..
hopefully it'll all be fine..



if not.. hope for the luck of the irish on me. heh.

ta

vanityyyyyy

hooorayy for vanity posts! a compilation of pics from 2006 till now.. changes my friend changes is what makes us human.. :D enjoy! plus u can just see my cheeks puffing up.. chubby omfg..

killjoy

as they burst out laughing i could do nothing but just smile..

then comes the question of;

'why suff why?'

i replied;

'to start anew my friend.. to start anew.. '

it has always been my personal philosophy that life is all about change, without change how would you measure the how you've lived your life.

yes.

i am the bloke whom you'd hardly recognize after 4 years..

and the 4 years after that.. and the years that follows..

--

apparently word on the street is i'm married with a kid.

haha.

wonder who's my wife..

stargazin

most of my life i've walked this earth underneath the stars alone. taking long strides, i rethink of all the conversations i had for the day. repeating the funny bits and taking note of the opposite. looking up i see the stars shining down on me. hinting something, a solution, an idea, a reason perhaps.

smiling.

2am. on a cold winter night. i walked underneath the stars again, this time i was not alone. we giggled and laughed. i looked to you to see you smiling so bright. perhaps even brighter than the stars themselves.

tonight i look up to the stars again.

but i am alone again.. with my hands at the back of my head, i lie flat in the cold wet grass.

clueless.

on this dark dark night. there were no stars shining.. at all.

as the wind swept by.

i continued searching.. it must be there somewhere.. it must !

my chest felt different in the morning, it felt heavy.

achooo!

so much for stargazin.. crappy cold.

scented, flaky

my two lil feet willing to walk the distance,
calculative my mind tell me it is possible and probable,
twitchy and relentless impulses of electric in my arms,
i took my stride,
believing yet not wanting,
as each stroke went by,
i feel light headed,
when will it end?

i've lost the scent which i normally fall asleep to.. tis gonna be a long night.

---

'i wanna lead a simple life from now on..'

people look at me funny whenever i say this. fact is that they dont understand what i mean of a simple life. i am tired. tired of the obsessive habit that i have for planning. thinking of what be the best next move every 10 seconds. setting up a plan b whenever plan a fails. pushing past the average breaking point. trying to break every barrier up ahead.

yes. it is a positive trait.

but i need my time off.

so obsessive is this trait that i plan my day every night before i sleep.

--

uniquely eccentric.

i can do digits but i hated accounts.

i totally dig people who are artsy yet i cant draw for nuts.

if i had a wish to change this world, i'd make it vividly negative in color. black to white and the likes of it.

divide and conquer was the idea. yet its turned into diversify and fumble.

multiple choices, multiple traits. perhaps it was better to just stick with one.

a straight line.

occasionally curving, but mostly straight.

-

mental.

O

hurm..

last years business

DNB Bday Bash @ Ministry of Sound, London







the massive bass kinda screws up the sound ;p
DMC Championships @ The o2 Arena, London




enjoy

nu yer vid, funneh :D

the awaited video of nuyers.

busy now. later people.

edit:

old video of a fren.. hahhaa time to humiliate someone. MUAHHHAHA !

snippets, locks

the few bits of pictures i took in edinburgh.. it was raining at the time so didnt really whip out my camera.. heh. as usual ;p i do however have a video of the fireworks, but damn youtube aint cooperating with me. so i'll let it be for now.. ;p






couple o times my friends actually ask how long is my hair now. most of the time i just reply shoulder length though i myself am doubtful its only that long. cus my hair is wavy so you cant really see how long it is, plus i normally tie it up.

so today i decided to whip out the old brush and after a good 10 minutes of brushing..



hahaha. i might as well be bald at this rate. look at the amount of hair! anyways, the actual length is ..






yes i kno my pretty boi looks aint helping here. i put on some makeup and girlish clothes i'd pass for a drag anytime. a very pretty one to boot. ;p

dig

i totally dig this pic. tho a bit shaky.. the color's so sharp and rad.. heh. good ol days of 06 .. link

happy nu yer?

a lil post dated.. but oh well.. better late than never ey.. a compilation of the year that passed..



















i realize that i havent been taking much pictures in the last quarter of 2007.. heh.. ;p

anyways. happy nu year peeps. may u have a good one.