moving targets

naturally i'm a pursuer, find a goal and do everything possible if not rational to get that goal.

but now, i've ran outta goals.

and its driving me fucking nuts!

right now, all i'm doing is just waiting.. and waiting.. and more waiting.. and its .. ugh!

i hate waiting, cus half the time the balls are on the other side. fuck i hate it when things are not in my control. argh.

worst of, i know its really driving me nuts cus i'm literally unfocused half the time. especially when i'm driving. had an accident last week which really shook me up abit. tho its really nothing but the cost to repair that bitch's car really hurt my pockets. sigh.

right now, i'm confiding myself onto one goal. but the problem is, half the time whilst pursuing this goal i'm waiting also. i hate waiting.. i do. sigh. its like i'm aiming for a moving target and i only have 1 shot left. if i miss this one, i'll never get the chance again.

-

now i'm working pattern depends on if there is a task in hand. so half the time i'm at home doing absolutely nothing. i feel so shitty by the end of the day, like i have so much unused energy. if the park was just next door, i'd be running everynight just to clear my head. but its so far and lately its so friggin hot.

i'm forced to sleep half naked now cus of the humidity. mind u i hate showing off my nipples.

my heads messed up.

half of me is saying,

' fucking go to UK already will yah!'

whilst the other half is saying,

'i'll miss the company i have right now..'

this is real shitty.

laters.

lift up

have you ever felt like the day was shitty, then came a song which sounded so cheerful that it brings a smile to your face. soon before u know it, that tune is stuck in ur head in repeat for like a gazillion times. but no matter how many times u tell urself that this song is gonna be commercial soon. it makes no differ.

cus it makes u feel good !

and to make it even better. things suddenly do brighten up slowly..

'now how about that' you thought to yourself.

well i guess it only takes a 2 minute tune to get things bright and over the moon.. hehe.

the feel of sweet sweet life. :)

embrace it !

while its not sour. =P

tick tick

hola!

with a snap of a finger, comes to an end of another chapter in my life. heh. ;D times flies yo!

tho no one actually reads this blog anymore cus i've been MIA for far too long. i'm just adding a brief update till i get my lazy arse to do a new layout and restart my blogging life. haha. anyways, things changed now. ;)

work is ovah! so now comes a time when i whine and bitch like a pansy about how fucking bored i am.. cus i spend too much time at home now. apart from my daily worldcup outings, its staying at home till i grow roots.

flight to uk will be on the 1st of september, sheesh it aint long anymore. today marks the 26th june and whee.. thats like just another month or so till i'm off. i've yet to start packing, restudy my subjects(cus i cant do math for shit now!), learn howta cook and loads of other stuff. still taking it at a slow pace. but i've bought my winter jacket already!

i feel so G-unit innit. with furr and shite.

been trying to buy a new camera but the fucking price keep on fluctuating that its driving me crazy! fucking stay biatch! as though my current financial standings arent giving me enough issue's ! ..

ass.

will be updating hopefully more for the few coming days. since i'll be at home half the time.. with absolutely no idea of what to do online. gdamn !

aights. lates.

see i cant even ramble without trailing off .. fuckin hell its been a while !

worldcup yo!

well well well. no other better way to have a break with football as the main dish. yay for worldcup yo!

team to root for: Holland! Go Oranje!

anyways. on other notes. i've extended work. no events, totally different perspective. briefing on the work tomorrow.

cheers

dont know where i'm heading

work is finally over. as in over and done with for good. but i was given a choice to continue or not. now i'm contemplating should i or should i not. cus for one, i do enjoy my work.. but there are things which makes me just wanna stop working. at times its so bad, i really feel like i dont need all this shit. fuck the money if its gonna come to that.

sigh.

i hate this. really i do.

these are the times when i just feel like time would fast forward to another month or so, so i can just fuck off from here and start a new. enter uni and make myself at home in uk. but i aint the type o person to runaway from his trouble.

but what the fuck man, its just a small issue. why the fuck must it be made into such a huge ass fuss. guess some are just fucked up. inconsiderate twats.

i'd rather be alone than to deal with shit like that everyday.

wtf man really.

it seriously fucking pisses me off

strike 2.

fuck it.

move on fuckhead. i got bigger issue's than u.