push yourself

awsome vid done by guy richie.

yep the same bloke who did lockstock and two smoking barrels.

awesome.. simple awesome..

weight of the world

past few weeks or so i've been lugging around my laptop for most of the time. a 17" laptop + power adapter and all my notes. partially my fault for wanting a media entertainment laptop, explains the big ass screen. but it was a good investment for someone who's only means of entertainment was watching downloaded movies and tv series.

its as if i've grown a shell. ive turned into a turtle. -_-

doesnt help either that my bag is green in color. heh.

anyways, of late i've been staying up till 5am cramming as much as possible in my 'looks quite large but not so' head. waking up at 1pm make my heavy lunch, take my 2 hours of freedom and slowly lug my shell into classrooms to continue doing work.

this has literally taken its toll on me, my shoulder's been hurting for ages now and at times it does feel like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my back.

there are moments where i just wanna scream,

'aaaaaghhhh dahh laaaa bosan nk mampos buat bende niiiiiiii!'
*translation:
'aaaaaghhhh i'm so sick and tired of this rubbishhhhhhhhhhh!'

but 2 seconds later i'd dive back into what i was doing then. if not start streaming tv3's website for more rubbish to rant about.

lalalaa.. k better not waste anymore time .. time to continue work ta

30 mins

tv3.com.my is definitely the way to kill time when your taking break from studying.

i finished watching the local news and decided to open remaja which totally cracked me up.

the show starts with a local issue of insomnia and they've invited a guest doctor and 2 other 'remajas' to speak about insomnia. expecting the discussion to be quite informative i watched eagerly only to end up with despair..

it was so lame..

the doctor though he looked the part wasnt given any solid question about insomnia.

dont get me started on the two other guests; the lady claimed she had the attributes or symptoms of a insomniac whilst the other dude, he wasnt insomniac.. he was just another teenage kid with nothing better to do who played games.

he couldnt sleep because he played bloody computer games all night long and sleeps during the day.

pfft !

puhhhleaaseee!

choosing not to sleep is not insomnia. insomnia cases are like the ones you see in 'fight club', the inability to sleep at all. well okay that might be chronic insomnia but least its a proper example, not some bloke who presumably comes from a rich family whos parents only comment when he doesnt sleep at night is,

*drum roll*

'eh tak tido lagi?'

obviously when he says that he sleeps during the day and stays up at night to play games.. he's just spoiled. what a brat.

bah.

which comes to the next segment, which even its name got me rolling all over the floor laughing;

segment: hot, happening & stylo!

dammmnnnnnnnnnnn!

its basically a review of whats hot and whats not and mind you, even the name of the segment is bad. but i reckon what cracked me up the most was when they featured 'hartamas square' as part of the 'happening' place to be and interviewed a couple o people there and one of em said;

'well you see, hartamas is different.. its not like a mamak or a restaurant.. mamak is mamak, restaurant is restaurant.. but hartamas is hartamas.'

like;

double yew - tee - eff

wokaaayy.

then later on their gadget section, of all the wicked gizmo's in the world right now they feature a mouse. not a mouse-mouse but a computer mouse.

why la?

takkan tetikus is the must have gadget kot for remaja's now a days?

so anyways, the mouse they featured was the razor mouse - sumthing-sumthing which was kononnye the most uber hyped mouse for 'gaming'.

-_-

first you feature a kid who has 'insomnia' from excessive gaming, now you feature a mouse to play more games.

good!

i like!

after all the hoo-haa's about the mouse is over(they even invited 2 'gamers' to test out the mouse.. weee kewl-ness habis!) they forgot to do one thing.. mentioning the price tag of the mouse.

fo those of you who dont know, a razor mouse can cost up to about rm200 or more

remaja can afford ke?

baik gi tuition dgn duit tu.

anyways. enuff ranting.

suci

putih.

sesuci warna putih.

pertama kalinya ku tak terkata dan diriku hanya mampu merenung.

kejelitaan yang sebelum ini tak pernah ku sangka hadir di depan mataku.

terserlah sebentar tadi.

ku menjadi kaku.

tak bisa mengeluarkan kata-kata lain hanya, 'cantik..'

dia tertawa menyangkakan kataku itu satu sindiran.

tapi akan ku simpan gambaran kejelitaan itu di minda ku buat selamanya.

ku pasti, jika sebelum ini dia sememangnya jelita tapi pabila bertutupkan seperti tadi, terhilang kata-kataku..

ianya seandai ku terjumpa segala yang ku cari selama ini di dalam dirinya.

pertama

ku mengerti diriku ini tidak sempurna;
buat pertama kalinya akan ku tuliskan dalam blog ini rangkapan fikiranku di dalam bahasa asalku,
ku mengerti ianya bukanlah yang terbaik seperti orang sering sangkakan,
bahasaku ini hanya biasa, tidak pun memalukan bagi diri seseorang sepertiku ini,
ku pelik melihat diriku sejak kebelakangan ini,
tidak seperti biasa,

telah terbukti yang diriku ini seorang yang tabah,
tapi apakan daya pabila diriku ini telah mencuba sedaya upaya,
namun apa yang ku berusaha tidak berjaya,
ku memaksa diriku supaya tabah,
tabah menempuh cabaran yang tidak lama akan habis,
tapi kelihatan seperti ianya takkan terhenti,

ku melayan diriku memikirkan masa depan ku,
sesuatu yang dulunya ku sering lakukan,
merancang dan menetapkan misi-misi hidupku,
mengatur langkah agar ku menjadi seseorang yang berjaya,
menjadi kebanggaan ibu-bapa serta keluarga,

rangkapan ini bukannya petanda yang ku telah putus asa,
hanya peringatan bagi hari akan datang,
betapa peritnya dugaan yang telah ku lalui untuk mencapai sesuatu,
sesuatu yang tidak tersangka begitu susah,
ku berasa duka,
pabila ditampar oleh kenyataan,
yang ku ini hanyalah seorang biasa,
tidak sehebat mereka,

ku juga ingin merasa betapa manisnya kejayaan itu,
seperti kejayaan ku pada tahun 2005,
begitu manis sekali rasanya,
ku telah berusaha,
sepenuh hati, sekuat daya,
tapi apakan daya..

ku berpegang pada potensi diriku,
yang ku juga mampu,
tambahan pula kesungguhan mu untuk melihat ku berjaya,
ku berusaha lagi,
mengubah diriku agar ku kelihatan kental, gagah perkasa,
walaupun realitinya ku ini hanyalah seorang yang sangat kecil,
kaulah kekuatanku,
janganlah kau sesekali pergi dari diriku,

di saat-saat seperti inilah yang ku paling memerlukan mu,
ku tidak mampu berdiri keseorangan menempuh dugaan hidup ini,
namun lidahku ini tidak mengerti kelembutan,
melukakan hatimu dengan kata-kataku,
melihat dirimu memaling dari diriku adalah penyeksaan yang paling perit,
ku mengaku kebodohan diriku,
akan ku cuba mengubah diriku supaya tidak sebegini lagi,
ku pinta kau sabar,

kerna ku memerlukanmu dalam hidupku,
ku rayu padamu..
janganlah tinggalkan ku..

farewell dinner

yes. i've grown fat.


boohoo :(