you wanna know whats the best way to spoil a good morning?
having the university run a fire drill at 7 bloody am!
bollocks man!
thank god i was in tracks and not in the shower or sumthing.
fucking waste of time of sleep i tell ya !
ugh!
its gonna be not such a sweet day already i can tell...
raya just went by a few days ago..
it was alrite.. nothing too fancy nothing spectacular..
woke up in the morning .. bathed and got dressed in casual clothes.. haha im sucha sour grape for not wearing raya clothes.. went to have a bite at the juniors house.. then off to class.. bummed in my room and then went for more free food in the evening..
tahts pretty much it ..
mild and mediocre celebration.. heck i wouldnt even call it a celebration.. haha.
but it was alrite.. i wasnt in the mood anyways.. was pretty much knackered up from travelling to london and back..
since malaysia celebrated raya a day later.. i called my mom the next day..
she didnt pick up.. the first 8 calls..
got a wee sad.. then tried calling my ex.. ya kno.. to whine.. haha.. but she didnt pick up as well..
after a few minutes my mom texted me and i called back..
as usuall, their out visiting relatives and stuff..
in away.. its not that i feel homesick .. but i've got so used to the fact that im here to study, so my minds sort of madeup that this enviroment is abt studying.. explains why i dont feel so festive..
heard that raya in london was really happening.. though im already quite bored of london. haha.
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but today my ex came online.. she sent me pictures and chatted for a bit..
now that made me feel festive..
as usuall, she looked smashing eventhough she was wearing last years raya clothes.
she said that her raya was good. lotsa company and very hectic.. but i could tell that she really enjoyed herself .. =)
in a way i was felt festive cus she felt festive and the fact that i havent talked to her in a while ..
i'd give anything to turn things around and spend raya wit her.
anyways.
fact that fasting is over sort off made me developed a stomach bulge!
tomorrow back to the gym!
hello people.
its raya today. yeapyeap. u read that rite. UK celebrates Raya a day earlier cus we fasted a day earlier. heh.
its been a slow start to be truth. nothing fancy is going on.. everyone dressed nicely and all colors while i decided to be the sour grape and wear jeans. haha. cus im too lazy and i cant be arsed ..
anyways. trip to london for the weekend was good. totally enjoyed myself though i cant say that abt my wallet, which is running dry .. eep!
some very very late pictures. haha.
this was taken quite some time back actually. i think now the color is much nicer. but haha lazy to go back down to that place just to take more pictures ;D
in the spirit of healthy living and active sports. i bought footie boots ! welcome to the family ! gotta say though, after such a long time not playing field footie.. i feel really out. haha. anyways..
those are the only boots imma wear for 3 years to come. heh! hopefully it'll last me that long..
this is my mate, idzwan. crashed his crib for the week. a very old friend. we sort of lost contact during highschool cus he moved houses.. but even wit that gap in the middle. were still good friends. haha.
oh and he used to have straight hair during primary school.. suddenly now he has a sortoff curly + fro ish hair..
a picture of him playing footie. ronaldinhooooo~! nah.
what made me go down to london for the 2nd time .. in 2 weeks .. is cus of this mate in the middle, aiman. he came down as well for the weekend all the way from stafford. its sort off like a gathering of old friends. peeps from back in the hood. which was totally wicked, cus most of us havent actually changed alot.
saturday aiman had to leave.. cus he had some work to do..
saturday night, idzwan's collegemates decided to visit his crib.. thus almost 20 people were hanging out in a tiny room. ahhaa. it was really packed but wit good company.. :) met loads of new friends. whom i shall be seeing more off soon hopefully.
DJ doing his thang.. looking for record stores.. that behind there is Nickie Blackmarket. and if im not mistaken.. those 2 kids behind the window are Goldie's Kids.
BELIEVE THAT!
hah.
alrite. off to go curi some food ..
raya raya ! people !
lastly,
Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims.. Let us Forgive and forget the past and enjoy whatever that awaits us :)
cheers !
tomorrow a fellow senior is gonna board a plane back to msia for good..
thus in good relations, i went over for just to spend some time anndd for the free food. haha.
gotten some really good advices and some free stuff which will be usefull later .. ;) i soo felt like being on Oprah cus they kept on interviewing me personal stuff, thinkin its alrite to be open for a bit. i spilled some bits of my personal life to em ...
she just kept on laughing at me when i told em about my previous relationships. in her very words;
'whats the point of getting together if u guys arent serious?!'
at which i pondered for abit. then replied;
'are u maadd? getting in a serious relationship at this age?! im not crazyy ! aanddd i dont plan to get married that soon! hah!'
well perhaps i cant be arsed to start serious. like wtf for anyways? it hasnt done me anything good yet. its all gone to shambles for the past .. let seee.. 7 years? plus im only 21. which is utter crazy to go serious.
guess her point of view is based on someone's who's gonna get married soon.
but its kinda funny though.
serious at 21?
would you do it?
are u mature enough?
nope not me.
so what does a boi do to heal himself in a cold cold country with such dodgy weather..
he eats chocolates ! hahhahhaa..
where can u get a whole pack of cadbury choc's for only 1 pound! weeeeeeeeeeee~!!
ok fine, mebbe its like 7 ringgit. but dont convert la dey... imagine buying a whole pack for 1 ringgit.. isnt it .. LOVELY?!
man i tell u the amount of cookie's, chips aandd chocolate.. mmmmmmmmm
yepyep. the 3 C's of sinners. cookie's,chips and chocolate.
im sooo gonna grow fat!
but no worries. i'll excerciseeee!! yepyep!
for now... its cadbury mini rolls and walkers cheese & onions. yummmmm~!
oh and coke zero(no sugar)!
lets make it 4 c's then, cookie's, chips, chocolate and coke !
hahahahhahhahahaha.
u can see that im sugar high already.
weeeeeeeeeeeee...
tata!
i never realized how shitty is my immunity system till i got here..
this is the second time i've gotten a flu since i got here.. and its not even funny anymore. at first yea it was all fun and giggles, laugh at the boi who went jogging in shorts. i know.. but now.. its soo fucking annoying that i'm starting to hate the cold.
argh..
i now know that i am a true asian. i need the sun. i need to sweat. and i bloody hell hate this flu..
fucking hell.
fasting doesnt help either. im hungry. im cold. and fucking hell this running nose is sooo annoying !!!
crap!
im all cranky! not to mention whiney.
i feel so girl.
ugh! somebody pass me a vibrator!
heyya.
back in msia.. when it rains, it pours. well yea.. apart from that, it gets colder and it really makes u wanna stay in bed the whole time.. tendency for traffic jams, delays and missing classes increase significantly. why? cus its raiininggg.. and the bed is calling.. haha.
well now, try having that most of the week. it gets boring after abit.
its been raining here for the past 2 days.. well it stopped for abit, then it rained again..
i was forced to wear my winter jacket early. haha. cus i felt ghetto and well... im a malaysian, wouldnt wanna freeze my ass off.
according to bbc, today will mark a significant drop in temperature, cus of yesterday pour.. its gonna be as low as 9 degree's today. tomorrow it can go down to 8 degree's ! sejuk deyy!
anyways. heres how the view(minus the huge dump which i cropped out) looks like from my room. the rain drizzled and i saw the sun ! yay for sunshine!
after staying here for abit.. u kinda miss those sunnydays which u could actually wear shorts out and not have ur leg hair stand up.. ;D
anyways.
marking my arrival here in the uk, one of the most expensive thing i bought so far.. was my new hp.. well i didnt actually buy it, it came free with the line but i had to give a 200 pound deposit first. which totally burnt a hole in my pocket.. eep!
yep ladies and gents; thats a pda. its the Xda Mini S by O2 to be precise.
one of the few bits which made me sooo want to have it was the slide out qwerty keyboard. weeee. makes texting such a breeze and funfun! havent actually toyed with it fully .. cus it didnt come with a mini sd. which is such a pain, cus now i gotta go buy a mini sd card. techie gadgets are slowly annoying me. bah!
the guy at o2 was also nice enough to give me a free bluetooth headset wit it.. which makes calls easier .. no more oily touch screens after phone calls.. anndd the voice quality isnt as good as nokia's but thats what the headset's for! :)
i was jumping like a kid on christmas morning when i first got it, cus i was able to call back msia whenever i wanted.. few days later, shit hits the fan.. thus i wont be making that much of calls like i tot i would.. bleh!
hurmm.. i suddenly realize that i have too many electronic stuff around.. i feel soo technosexual.. or should i say geeky. but its all good, i am after all taking electronics engineering :D
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hopefully the rain slows down so i could go for a run later.. cus im boorreddd !
there comes a part in everyone's life where we have soo much high hopes on one particular thing. we tell ourselves everyday how it'll gonna be, the planning so meticulously, the idea so divine.. till a point where we could actually taste that dream as a reality..
then.. reality just has to do what it does best, brings u back down to earth. smack front first, face into the ground.
i hate it.
but why does it happen so often these days?
is it my fault that i build so much hope till i'm lying to myself?
or has reality been really harsh to me lately?
im lost. im in denial. ive lost my self-belief. i'm back to where i was last time.
and it doesnt help that i have a depressive nature which i cover under fake laughs and exterior smiles.
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i've lost it.
i give up.
this time around i dont know if selfhealing would work on these wounds.
ive had enough of the terms of 'can we just be friends'.. if i had the power, i would sentence each and every man women or child saying that verse into a life of imprisonment in an asylum. let them think of what those verse actually mean.
yes. take it maturely u might say.
but how often is a relationship mature. we whine and toss and turn about those ittybitty things which are just soo utter pointless. but we still do? why? cus we want the attention. well ur getting all the attention u want. wtf else do u want?
i refrain to build hate towards u after all we've been through..
but i think i deserve the right to feel frustrated ..
take ur space.
since u want it so bad.
i woke up today to the coldest morning ever since i've been here.
as i curled myself underneath the warm duvet covers, slowly opening my eyes to have a look at the clock.. 7.40am.
i promised someone that i'd call .. so i did just that. only to have a short chat, during which i was neither the limelight nor least of their attention.
hung up.
dazed into the ceiling.
the wind got colder.
im starting to hate today.
hie guys,
really sorry i havent been updating for a long time..
i'm still alive, yep.
guess i've been stuck for abit from all the ittybitty problems which turns out pretty major.. heh.
i guess what i'm trying to say is, yes. i've been here for a month already. i've been to london twice. visited all the must visit sites in london, cept the clubs(that i'll visit when i have money :D) .. but..
i havent actually started living like how i'm suppose to..
somethings been holding me back of late. sadly half my heart's still back in msia.
no i'm not homesick..
no i dont weep thinking abt msia..
but cus there are some bits of my better half which hasnt settled yet. its kinda confusing and pretty much holdin me back from the whole living the moment thingie ..
rationally the thing to do is move on, yet knowing who i am; i dont move on emotionally matters as quick as i do mentally.
i'm trying to get that settled. which i hope will come to some ultimatum quick. cus it disturbs my sleep .. which is bad i guess.
this week would be the actuall start to living for me, cus i've settled the bank issue's, done'd my phone line and my new SD card is coming in soon.. so expect more camwhoring and more rants soon. plus a close friend of mine will be flying here as well. which is awesome news for me..
i hate this confusing state.
but then again; its moments like this i know who i am and how i make myself stronger.
lates.
