not again.

there comes a part in everyone's life where we have soo much high hopes on one particular thing. we tell ourselves everyday how it'll gonna be, the planning so meticulously, the idea so divine.. till a point where we could actually taste that dream as a reality..

then.. reality just has to do what it does best, brings u back down to earth. smack front first, face into the ground.

i hate it.

but why does it happen so often these days?

is it my fault that i build so much hope till i'm lying to myself?

or has reality been really harsh to me lately?

im lost. im in denial. ive lost my self-belief. i'm back to where i was last time.

and it doesnt help that i have a depressive nature which i cover under fake laughs and exterior smiles.

-

i've lost it.

i give up.

this time around i dont know if selfhealing would work on these wounds.

ive had enough of the terms of 'can we just be friends'.. if i had the power, i would sentence each and every man women or child saying that verse into a life of imprisonment in an asylum. let them think of what those verse actually mean.

yes. take it maturely u might say.

but how often is a relationship mature. we whine and toss and turn about those ittybitty things which are just soo utter pointless. but we still do? why? cus we want the attention. well ur getting all the attention u want. wtf else do u want?

i refrain to build hate towards u after all we've been through..

but i think i deserve the right to feel frustrated ..

take ur space.

since u want it so bad.