comparison

theres another post before this which i'll post up later. right now i'll rant abt whats on my mind while its still fresh.

dont you just hate it when people start to do comparison with you. so okay its a gift to actually have options when others dont. but how fucking annoying issit when people start comparing.

heres an example :

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suff : ma .. so if i manage to score in my finals .. do i qualify for any *ahem* reward?

mom : reward? your trip to uk is your reward.

dad : studying abroad in uk is your reward.

suff : *ignores dad* what thats it? come on, i'm even paying half of the trip..

mom : so would you prefer to pay for all of it?

suff : *dumbfound* but come on, be rational.. i fucking deserve this trip.. i already missed out on 2 trips already..

mom : which is?

suff : new zealand .. oz.. ring any bells?

mom : you should be grateful that i'm actually paying for your trip.. when i was young ... bla bla bla yada yada yada.. compare yourself with those who cant even afford to go to uk .. bla bla .. africans .. starving .. bla bla

suff : *totally fucking pissed .. keeps composure .. shall not start cursing aloud*
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come on man. this is ridicule.
for most of mylife i've been compared, degraded, demoralized for who i am.
my parents were rarely proud of me.
my friends were normally better than me.
they compare my weaknesses. taunt me to amuse themselves. while i simply swallow everything.

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i kno my weaknesses.
when i actually have something to be proud off.
things just simply got shot down.
just when things were starting to look good.

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i would say that now i have more confidence compared to last time.
but it still shitty when people constantly degenerate you to make them look better.

fuck these people.

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mark my words. i'll ensure that i'll be so fucking great. you sons of bitches cant even fucking touch me anymore.