har har

humans are such contradictory beings, the moment the situation changes, they'd demand for something else which would best suit them. pretentiously trying not to act like there isn't a single hypocritical cell in them.

in my mind, i picture myself as a social butterfly, fluttering from one social group to another. constantly making new contacts and gathering as many friends as time permits whilst rarely ever stopping on one spot for too long.

even my personality test traits proved so.

yet as history has shown me, too much of something isn't a good thing. so i set myself boundaries which i'd avoid. no matter how much the temptation. locking myself in my own tranquil world, reluctant to reach out and venture into the outside world.

'life's too short, why not let loose?'

'but if life is too short,then why make it shorter?'

which basically contradicts my second paragraph of being a social butterfly.

just like the software which i'm developing, a genetic algorithm set with a certain fitness level encapsulated inside certain boundaries. my mind thinks more less the same way. for each of my action, 7 versions of myself appear in my head. each voicing out its own opinion of a good choice. as they argue and stab each others tongues. the fittest or most rational would win.

my minds forever at work.

there are days were i picture a huge conference of the 7 versions of myself in a huge debate about the recent choices i've made, just to realize that i am alone at my desk as the clock ticks away.

i savor my 15 minutes walk to work, why?

because that is when i set my life goals, re-examine where i am today and rethink the mistakes i've recently done.

does really make me sound like an anti-social person doesn't it?

maybe i am, maybe i'm not.