5 mins off

yesterday i had another migrain,

i'm assuming that its the stress collected over the past few days.

its the second time in the past 2 weeks and if its becoming a weekly ritual imma need a better solution than just paracetamols.. cus just popping two of em each time somehow just doesnt cut it.

i especially hate the leftover migrain the next morning.. gah.

anyways.



it might even be my glasses. but i highly doubt so. but im wearing my contacts today to see if theres any diff. least my eye is not twitching .. heh. i think my body is just acting up on me of late.



ooooo l33tne3s! :D hax0r5 s37up!



mr gunnerbear got a lil more than he bargained for when mr monkeydam told him to come over to watch some footy. hahahaha.

tata !

bon fire x 3

without even noticing it, on the 7th of november was the 3rd bon fire night i've watched. time has just zoomed past me these 2 years. soon enough i'll be 23.

phew.

one thing for certain, these celebrations abroad are so miniscule compared to malaysia. perhaps its the people, perhaps its the financial burden, perhaps its the weather. but defineatly i've had better.

anyways, heres the vid of the bon fire.

it was a half attempt of taking pictures of it till we got pissed at the fact that some of the fireworks were high and some were low in altitude. so adjusting the camera lenses to fit everything was just pissy if your doing it every 2 minutes or so.

some also say that this year's firework was not as creative as last year.

myself, i'd say bon fire are just overated.

now to put fame to the face at the end of the video is mr tuff aka sham. and yes i still sound like an idiot on video.




and this is me chilling whilst playing some msn/ym on my iphone. :D
yesyes, very camwhore of me.

the masseuse

more often than not, at this age(23) the majority of people dont exactly take notice of their health. ignorantly the assume that their at their peak, the phase of doing everything and anything without care.

i am in that group.

i couldnt careless about my health, as long as i am not obese, i dont have trouble breathing and i am not too chubby.

previously i mentioned about my problem with sciatica.

well it hasnt improved ..

its already been what? slightly more than 3 months. maybe even 4.

fed up that this problem hasnt made any progress. i reluctantly booked an appointment with the gym for a massage.

i have NEVER been to a massage.

closest to a massage i've ever gotten was from family and the wifey.

so it was a new thing for me.

but it wasnt just for fun. i wanted a cure.

-

arriving there, i explained to the bloke who was the massage-er, no i wasnt unlucky to get a guy.. i requested for a bloke cus i wanted to get my money's worth and not some cutesy pie whos hands are too small to grab anything.

unsure of what to say or do, i explained about my condition.. the sciatic issue's and about my visit to the NHS..

he then told me to undress.

left with just my boxers(i wore briefs underneaths as well just in case free willy wants to jump over some barriers), he instructed me to do some test to determine the types of sciatica.

according to him there were two possibilities; my back or my buttocks/leg

after several raising of legs and bending forward..

he confirmed his diagnose that i had some problems with myback.

specifically, the nerve is being pinched by the backbone and that there were some growing out, also that the nerve is whats causing the irritation and pain down my right leg.

asked of what common causes, he replied with the text book answer of, 'theres can be a number of causes.. its hard to determine.'

annoyed i enquired more and amongst his answers some key words stood out more than the rest .. like 'the back bone is degenerative' which is rather scary. like my backbone will collapse after 2 years or sumthing.

so straight into business, he then asked me to lie flat on my tummy so that he can massage the back and make my bone not so stiff. using all of gods gift to unstiff my muscles which included his nice elbow he gently jabbed into my back.

now when i say gently, theres nothing gentle about using elbows on the back okay.

after a good 25 minutes he then told me to lie face up.

informing me that he was going to reallign my back or make the backbone not pinch my nerve. he first determined where the bone was out of place. then tossed me around until there was a *click*.

some of the *clicks* were a relief whilst some were more of a 'oy im not made of rubber i can break' bends.

after all that tossing and turning by another man.

ugh that sounded so wrong on so many levels.

he did some test some flexibility test and there was some improvement.

i was delighted, but was slightly saddened when was informed that i needed to come again next week and perhaps for another 3 other sessions .. to hopefully cure permanently.

calculating the cost, it totalled up to more than 100 quid. but if it cures my back issue's, then 100 quid is worth it.

stay tuned for more back breaking sessions!

perhaps i'll bring my camera to take photo's

i hate wednesday

pardon me for the lack of updates .. and for this post which i'll say now is an emo post with nothing but pathetic rants. so if you want to read happy-hapy things, stay tuned for maybe next week. sorry.

-

i woke up today with somewhat of yesterday's migrain. a bad start to ones day as i popped some paracetamols to ease the pulsating nausea feeling. migrains are purely a pain and absolute annoyance to one as it makes you unable to do anything.

so i sat in front of my laptop, watching last nights leftover movies.

feeling better, i decided to take a stroll outside.. to town.

sigh

here i am again, at the same alley, the same road, the same shops and browsing for moreless the same things for the past 3 years. it drizzled and weather was cold, what else can i say for november weather in uk.

perhaps its just today, that i feel exhausted. unmotivated from the start with the migrains.

i feel like i'm back at where i was last semester, unmotivated in winter.

seriously, i would blame the weather.

recap to the past few nights, when i was frustrated since i was unable to do my work. mindblocked or hitting a brick wall, whichever is your fancy. i took time off and decided to rekindle whatever friendship i have left with people back in malaysia. sending short messages via messenger to ask how they are.

but as with each friend, the main question they would as are;

'where are you now?'
'are you back in malaysia?'

perhaps i am being oversensitive, but those questions seemed like insults, eventhough i know these people mean no malice nor harm.

i reply them by saying;

'i'm still in uk, unfortunately.'

explaining why exactly have i stayed back for, often they reply by saying;

'thats not too bad, bet your enjoying your time there and not wanting to come back..'

how i wished this was true.

june 2008 was my target, my dateline, my limit.

i counted down each moment till that month.

being here, after that dateline .. is just agony.

'you should look for work there, earn loads of cash', they say.

it does sound great, like finding proper experience from international companies, earning in pounds, WOW thats like x 5.6 even with the recession. its still alot of money !

but i just cannot.

fatigued, burntout.

i want the sun to be out 12 hours a day, i want to whine about the heat and waste time hanging out in the local mamaks. to be able to eat whatever and whenever. curse aloud at the next driver for cutting que's. last but not least, bask in the ambience of a chaotic household where lil ones run riot which i call home.

i truly blame the weather.

where is the warmth when you need it.

please god, let me finish this time.

i cannot stand the cold, this loneliness, the severe financial insecurity.

-

let me be.

its just another cold wednesday.

tomorrow pray let there be sun.

tra

twitchy

so yesterday i was in the mood to do some work..

mid way typing through some codes. suddenly i couldnt concentrate..

my right eye started twitching.

it was just a lil annoying at first, but later it started to get worst. i couldnt concentrate anymore.

so i looked up the internet god aka google to find out what the hell is the matter with my eyes..

apparently, eyes twitching is caused by stress, fatigue and other muscular or even cancer.

now yesterday i was pretty much relaxed so it couldnt be that. fatigue might be the issue as i was getting 5-6 hours sleep daily. so i decided to sleep and waste the night away without doing any work.

come today, my eyes still twitch a lil when i'm in front of the pc. then i realize.. that my nose was abit runny.

so its basically a slight flue.

bleh.

k thanks bye.

a sound decision

previously people made comments about me forking quite abit of money for a new laptop. since it was only the wifi problem which was making a big fuss.. but now ..

HAH!

a simple recovery to factory settings via recovery disk has totally made the laptop useless with its screen going absolutely mental.

its either the RAM being faulty or .. like i previously mention the bloody BIOS which is acting up.

which PC World has confidently claimed that my laptop was working fine since coincidentally the WIFI was working at the time they were inspecting my laptop.

so my oppinion still stands.. HP SUCKS ASS.

and it was a GOOD decision for me to get a new laptop.

tomorrow im gonna visit the local computer store for a quick troubleshoot. if it does turn out its the BIOS acting up. HP is gonna get another nice email from me stating how BRILLIANT are their products.

hugs and kisses.

ta!