haha!

its only been 5 dayyysss..
im just lazy to update..
i even have pictures too.. but i'm lazy ;p
long day ahead! toodles !

shit for brains

i took a gamble.

to least try or live a life of regret and pondering of what if's.

i took the plunge. i wanted it, i was selfish. i thought only of myself and not of the consequences that might come with it.
life took its turn and i learnt the hard way that life will never be how u want it to be, cus u cant control life.

a year ago i was struggling to cope with life's other matters.

a month ago i was confused if i was making the right decisions abt this plunge. there was so much on my mind; i even had a small accident. shit it feels so stupid now.

a week ago i was sure; i wanted u ; i was selfish ; i was stubborn ; but i still wanted u real bad. thinking maybe there was a chance..

yesterday i thought long and hard. i didnt wanna hurt u. but i kno i couldnt trust myself.

few hours ago i was wit u. i would do anything just to be with u a while more. but i know tat wasnt possible. u had to go.

right now i know that i'm a selfish prick with shit for rationality.

tomorrow i know i'll be thinking of u the whole day, i kno i should stop.. i tried i just cant.

a week from now i'd be busy packing and visiting far relatives. still thinkin abt u, wanting to see u..

a month from now i'd be swamped with final packing, hoping that i get to see u before i leave.. i hate just thinking abt it..

a year from now, i'd remember these few days.. i'd remember u.. i wont forget u..

sigh.

im sorry.

-

39 days left.

oh no doctor.. not there!

i went for my medical checkup yesterday at a nearby hospital..

its kinda funny, just doing tests does at times give u a lil tingly feel that there might be something wrong wit u.. like the urine test, blood test and x-rays.

i'd drop dead on the spot if suddenly the nurse said i was positive for drugs or even worst aids. like wtf? but i dont do drugs nor have i shagged anyone for a long time!

haha.

anyways. everything was fine and dandy .. cept the physical was abit creepy cus the doctor kept on touching here and there. i seem to remember that the last time i did this, it wasnt so touchie.

eeee..

then it happened;

i requested a meningitis vaccine jab as an extra since the Uni i'm going said it'll be a plus. so as i finished the test, the nurse gave me the paper asking me to go to the pharmacy to get my jab. so i did that in a jiffy. then while getting the jab, suddenly the nurse asked me. how come i requested this jab..

'oh.. the uni mentioned something abt it.. so i tot might as well i get it here.. meningitis..'

:)

then the nurse's face changed abit.

'meningitis?'

'yep!, i requested it'

'but this jab isnt meningitis..!'

'the fuck?'

so i went back to the nurse that wrote me the prescription.. and then she explained that the doctor wrote the wrong prescription.. and the doctor was already at lunch.

'you've gotta be kidding me .. wtf did u just jabbed in me?'

TB. the hell? so fucking different man. TB = Meningitis? even the number of letters in em are different.. like waaay different..

later she still had the nerve to ask

'do u still want the meningitis jab? cus its gonna cost another 80 bucks. its already at rm271..'

'but i didnt request for the TB jab, why shud i pay for it? plus i only have enough money for the jab i requested..'

actually i had the money la. but gotta stand for ur rights man.

after much discussion with her colleague. she finally said..

'okay.. we're sorry its our mistake.. here.. go to the pharmacy and request for ur meningitis jab. the TB is on us..'

'k great. thanks'

so i went and took the jab..

felt like a goddamn druggy with needle marks all over my arm. i thought that was the end of it.. then came the paying part at the cashier..

'total comes to rm271 sir.. will it be cash or creditcard?'

'there was a mixup earlier on, i'm not gonna pay for the TB shot.'

'huh what? holdon.. lemme check with my superior..'

mahai. cannot take longer ar? so then he brought the everyone who was involved with the mixup to discuss. finally after like 20 minutes of standing there like a tree..

'okay sir, were very sorry for the mixup. the total is rm204..'

gave em the money and left.

bugger. lucky i cancelled my lunch date. if not, i'd be yelling at everybody man. but i did get a free TB shot.

oh well.

lucky they didnt go like..

'sorry sir, we've accidentally jabbed u with viagra.. there was a mixup in the labels.. it should wear off in a day or two..'

fuh! i tell u, how to drive home la liddet. oh i know, first thing i'd do i'll go over krystals..

'hey krys dont let this go to waste yo! we got like 2 days or sumthin.. '

AHAHHAHAA.

kasi hentam sampai biru. :p

thinkthink

theres a lotta things going in circles in my head lately..

sometimes i feel really frustrated and agitated. but i cant do anything about it cus its totally outta my hands. its so bloody annoying. half the time i feel like venting it out over the net and hope that that person actually reads it and actually gets a piece of my mind..

'understand this bitch!'

but im more matured than that. somethings are better left unsaid and kept to oneself. i wouldnt wanna start some lame ass net war or sumshit like that. thats just plain jerkoff man.

non the less. its shitty, when people dont understand u. but being pretentious bastards that they are, they still act like they do. hah!. fuck off u twat. u kno nothing abt me.

i contemplate of the pro's and cons .. the yes and no's endlessly at night .. till there was actually a moment of silence which my brain stopped for a bit. and my mind was blank. at that moment i know i've done something weird, yet interesting.

'i mindfucked myself'

okay.. weird.

anyhows, updates of life;

i've begun to slowly pay off and fill up all the forms needed to fly away from this place. i feel shitty sometimes. then i think again, i shouldnt be feeling this shitty, cus the reason why i felt shitty wasnt gonna feel shitty for me when i'm gone. so i stop feeling like shit.

numsayin?

tapping numbers into the calculator sent shivers down my spine .. cus the actually cost looked so huge. i know my ass is sold, if i fucked myself there .. i wont comeback for sure. well not till i find money to pay back ..

i tried finding peace in reading,but the books i have seem to be filled with too much nuisance.. the rambling never stops. interesting it is, but there are just times when u feel like 'fucking hell just tell me and stop humping my leg already'.

cant be arsed to upload pictures. cus i aint a chick, got a problem with that? fuck off! this aint a bimbo blog.

my hair's short now. cus i look like a pansy in photo's. i got other reasons too.. but why the fuck should i tell u..

think thats all for now.. more cursing and flaunting of badwords later.

cheers.

i want these.

cus i like running. lemme introduce: nike+


iwantiwantiwantiwantiwantiwantiwantiwantiwantiwantiwantiwant!

though i doubt i'll actually use it 24/7 .. but who cares. least it'll encourage me to run! plus the suit looks very ... stiff.. haha. wear it inside la.. with my flabs .. i'll be laughing at myself while running.

cheers

nutter

was doing some thinking lately.. abt a whole lotta things..

i realize that my life really do take sharp turns when i least expected .. i've been called a conservative person before.. but even with my conservative antics of planning, following the plans and keeping myself on the safeside of life. half the time life still sends in a curve ball which hits me dead smack on my face.

sometimes i myself find it amusing. given the fact that i'd really never expected things like that to happen.

maybe i've been putting my goals a lil too short.

i dunno.

anyways, of late there are still a few things in my head which is constantly bugging me..

its driving me absolutely nutter that i cant find a solution for it.

argh!

i think i'm goin crazy.

cheers.