a whole different persona

meeting up with some friends today, the topic of high school cropped up.

relinquishing the whole persona of high school which seemed so long ago. the battles of then that looked so idiotic now. assuming which, i'm sure that you all know where i'm heading to with this and i'm pretty much sure that you guys are sick and tired of reading about it..

but as the 3 of us sat at that table, rambling about how we were. it wasnt more of a remembering or reliving the past. it was actually us trying to run away from the current hatred towards the stress and responsibility of the present.

it used to be so easy!

the struggle of grades, though i wouldnt say i was the brightest of kids then with my exceptional attitude towards school and homework which went kinda like, 'ughhhh! how much i loath youuuuuu!'

it was different, that struggle didnt seemed so high risked. or perhaps it didnt seem so at the time. now time has brought age and maturity with the added bonus of responsibility on each shoulder. the battles are now different.

each wager has its cost and rewards, failure meant death is some ways.

yet somehow, i've lost a certain psychological push which was in me a few months ago. perhaps i need some time off to reset. but with time on the opposite side of the field, it cannot wait.

so as i stare blankly at my monitor, thinking about the past. twiddling my thumbs trying to find the epiphany of wisdom, which once smacked me on the head pushing me towards the right direction..

it doesnt help either when you linger amongst the boffins in class, how they mumble about theories and maths which does click in your head as well. yet when it came to exams, their always getting higher marks.

you ponder, 'there must be a mistake somewhere.. but where?'

ARGH!