removing all ego

i've been doing some thinking lately. made up some hard decisions and hopefully i'd stick to it.

it suddenly hits me really hard that in a month's time i'd be homefree and enjoying absolute freedom for least 6 months till i further my study. in between those 6 months of waiting period, i've made a decision to work cus i cant just sit my arse down and wait for money to drop from the heavens. so cus money is like the essential part of the modern life, i gotta work least earn a few bucks and not trouble my parents so much. since they've stopped giving me allowance for 2 years already, my sudden existence as a financial burden might trigger some issue's.

so i'd better not trouble them so much.

when i'm not working, presumable that most of my time would be spent with friends or colleagues. but because i havent been a good friend, i've already lost quite a number of contacts over the years. let it be cus of miscommunications over kitty litter or just simply one of us have moved to either live a far or study abroad.

i still keep tabs with those i am close with last time. say my form 5 mates like pansy randy and horny kok, or djs delinquent's like doctormark, infocus zohann, even ovalshaped-drew. i havent even forgotten those tied to blood like afro-reef or skyhigh-harry. it took me longer than expected, but things are good with most of my ex's say, sexy-eemun and theracks-ilee.

i'd be losing a family in a months time when college ends. thus i'd best take responsibility to keep as many tabs on them too.

but it hits me that even with these people to keep me company for the next 6 months. some will eventually move on or away and sooner or later the numbers get less and less. so albeit time will eventually get the best of us, i hope and would want things to be in good terms when things breakdown.

so ill make the first move, by removing all ego which makes me a man. instead putting on a sincere proposition as a human being. i'll talk to j again.

its about time i moved on from acting immaturely, i'm getting sick of those awkward moments and pretty much tired of all the curses and weird glances. though i still strongly feels that she doesnt deserve even 2 cents of my time. you'd never know, much later in life when i might suddenly need her help.

plus. its the season to forgive and forget.

gluttony at its best

i made a bad choice today.

i went for mc dee's ramadhan buffet to break my fast together with aiman, basil, mark, andrew and tjer. albeit only aiman, basil and me were the brave ones to actually participate in this food fest buffet.

imagine, for only rm18 bucks special for this ramadhan period. from 7 till 8 plus i think, you get to eat whatever burger u want on the menu. includes friend chicken, porridges and what not.

tempting isnt it. thus, with our mind set to only one thing 'to eat more than 18 bucks worth of mc dee's' and our stomach growling since noon. we feasted like kings. of mc donalds that is. after taking turns queing and ordering what we want. when there was 5 minutes left to the clock, our table was filled with ...

3 fillet o fish
4 mc chicken
4 quarter pounder
2 2-piece fried chicken (spicy)
4 chicken foldovers
2 6-piece nuggets
3 small fries
3 apple pies
3 chocolate sundaes
3 bandungs
3 cokes

7.00PM breakfast..

like a man who's never eaten in days. within the first 7 minutes, we've already chomped down on the fillet o fish, mc chicken, either mid way through the quarter pounder or the 2 -piece fried chicken.

mark only ate the mc chicken and left. which left us with a bigger job of finishing everything else.

when the clock hits 7.20, we've already slowed down drastically and was now more keen on just sitting there or just staring at blank space. our stomach was already packed and our mouths are just fatigued from the excessive chewing.

but champions we were and we held on, chewing as much as we can, with our food limit already passed after the 2nd burger.

time: 8.00PM

finally finished eating the chocolate sundae and now moved on to bum outside. goddamnit, this was the first time evah even walking was a burden. if walking was a hard, imagine when either one of us cracked a joke. trying to laugh could've ended either one of us flat on the floor unable to move at all. we literally felt like just rolling over to the car instead of walking.

we decided to crash aiman's crib to watch some footie cus our body only permits us to travel that far. the ideal plan was to go to hartamas. alas, our stomachs weighs heavily on us.

i dozed off a bit. when i got up, i had this sharp pain around my stomach as though it was gonna burst. i slowly drove home and sat on the pot to think things through. even after releasing those choco muffins, my stomach still hurt.

so i was stuck at home medicating my aching tummy whilst others went to hartmas to watch footie and ogled at chicks.

the price i pay for gluttony.

sigh.

so unfair.

-

i bought a new pair of shoe's today. their sumwhat like converse's, but the material is sumwhat plastic and it has this zipper at the back for easy wearing. really kewl. i'm so inlove withit. best thing is that it cost me only 50 quids.

50% sale.

wicked sick ey.

i've now partially completed my new clothing line. heh.

will be going down to sg wang to for other minor minor stuff later in the week.

-

united lost 4 - 1 to boro.

eventhough they've broken the record of scoring more than 1000 goals in the EPL. heh. tough luck lads.

funny thing was, before the match fergie said this match was gonna be the opening of the feast before chelsea.

whoopsidaisys!

thats why i say, support chelsea. cus everyone else arent gonna win the epl for the next few years unless abromavich gets bankrupt. get my flow? haha.

eternal sunshine

I find it rather amusing that I often find myself in situations much to my utter distaste, absolutely awkward times.

As I sipped my cold can of vanilla coke with a couple o friends from cyberjaya. Suddenly from afar, my eye catches sight of a man whom with all my hearts regret and guilt, was a victim of my adolescent past. Albeit he still knows not of acts I’ve done against him, as innocent as I am in his eyes. At times it burdens me to keep a straight face and act in a nonchalant manner.

I pray he’ll never find out about it. heh. ;p

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at times you feel that you are never or hardly satisfied with what you have. You contemplate and dictate yourself over a rational option. Forever fighting between the both of you’s, yet not seeing the previous blossoming of characters brought by one another. Mentioning that life is a choice with many hard decisions, yet when 2 act as 1 is much simpler than just a singular 1. time is a tool to further make one matured. Yet if there isn’t any other way, then what must be must be.

-

awkward moment

forgive me for my ever constant whining.

oh fuck it lah. if u guys dont wanna read about it then just dont. i cant be arsed anymore.

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so the story goes like, i was in hartamas square enjoying my weekendly dose of footie like any weekend. match wasnt really that interesting cus we sat a tad bit far from the screens. weirdly enough hartamas today was packed, its more packed then usual weekends. put that aside, whilst i was chick/footie watching. i got this weird vibe that somethings gonna happen. call it sixth sense or what not, i hardly believe in supersticious shit like premonitions. but when i get that feeling, its a sure shot something shitty is gonna happen. if not really weird.

i was seating with a couple of lads; my cus, zack, aj, dj assault and dj battery. mr battery being the prolific newcomer dj he is, gets a call and yaps on the phone for a bit. but i overheard him giving our location.

10 minutes later..

j and friends walks up the steps and moves towards battery.

*smack*

guess thats the shit about to happen.

fuck.

there was an awkward moment of silence. absolutely noticeble to anyone even the blinds.

she sat the table next to us, battery joined her table instead for a few minutes till she left.

-

fuck this shit. small world is ass.

a reason to leave for UK asap perhaps. so i wont have to bump into more people i hate.

-

i've only slept for about 3 hours yesterday, worked my ass the whole day to complete my robot's casing. the project demo is on tuesday. thus it means, less fucking sleep and more eyebags to share.

i also have a paper on tuesday right after my demo and one more paper on friday right before raya break.

sudden i feel all the love my college has for me.

like

-

my weights been dropping too, god knows what wonders it'll do to my health next.

60kg. now.

64kg, before fasting month.

lose more weight and i'll look like one of those caricature cartoons with excessively huge head. my mop like hair isnt helping either. plus i'm broke.

yep, i feel loved.

trouble trouble

heres the thing.

for the past week or so, i've been having real hard time waking up for my 8 am class. even today itself i didnt even manage to get my ass up for class. i think tis cause of the fasting and stuff cus normally i'd be the first one up at 7am, but this time i'm like the last one to actually be up.

goddamitt.

i've already skipped too many 8am classes for this week and the last.. MAJOR problem wei~!

gotta get me a fucking huge alarm clock for the next following day.

DIEDIEIDEIDEI!

becausee

yep yep, guess what. its that time of year again..

time for what you might ask?

time for me to whine and make nuisance, cus i need to fill up my UCAS form real soon.

*does a hippo dance with only, i repeat only, slippers*

but i have to say, these slippers arent conventional slippers, their yours truly's favorite pair of 'selipar jepun', the fuck do i know how and why they call em that. why are they my favorite pair, cus one side is different from the other.

so back to what i was saying.

i now have a gigantilon sized headache trying to figure out which university to apply for..

that and also, cus my stomach's like really hungry, so my head's feeling a wee light.

as my head sways left,right,up but not down though in tune with the imaginary melodies.. i just cant seem to figure out a few things..

1 - what to do later at 10pm.
2 - when to bath.
3 - should i apply for a campus uni or not.

so how so how?

i wished it was an easy decision for number 1 and 2, yet actions like dancing like a ballerina with absolutely maginificent leg-movement; Codenamed: Twinkle-Toes, has yet to produce any answers.

why oh why dear lord?

'Avast thou troubled spirit, Nay shall thou be a source of thy troubles no moree..'

ok lor, do assignments at 10. so bath at 8pm lor.

so tis now up to the very last of dire questions..

'to the blessid spirits high above lend me your money!'

so i could be rich for like 2 seconds and then live in a state of culture-shock of being poor afterwards.

-

serious lor, this is getting very stupid.

my head turns too often, cant concentrate.

decide later lor.

pai paiiiiiii~!!