fucked over

You see, I’m a man with a lotta patience, though i do voice out when I feel I’m being fucked over. But when it comes to family, old friends and people whom I feel I should have more patience with, I give. What they say, no matter right or wrong, I take in and think it through. Though I might not look the type, but I do think a lot. Sometimes a lil too much for my own good, that I predict myself being senile not long from now. But hey, time will tell.

Problem is, lately, an issue came up. An issue which includes a certain close friend of mine, a close friend which I’d never thought of doing something like that to me. Because we go way back, like family friends back, wheres his momma knows my momma and his pops knowns my pops. So what happens when suddenly a friend like this, fucks you over?

I mean, i know I am human. Fuck I aint perfect. I never even said I was, but fucking please need you voice out to my superiors before confronting me with the issue. The irony is, for all the mistakes you’ve done. I’ve never complaint externally, everything which is an issue between us, settles between us only and no one else. What happened to professionalism? Ethics?

Till of late, I’ve always thought better of you. Though shit has happened betweens us, I’ve always known it wasn’t your doing. But now, you’ve totally changed my perspective of you. I’ve had hate within me, but never this much. I feel grotesque and feel filth just being around you.

Forget our past, you’ll never have the same respect ever again.

Congratulations mate, you’ve rekindled a long line of hatred within me. Hatred and grudge against you and all your kind.

worries

past few days. my heads been really messed up. it aint cus of a girl, it aint cus of work. but its actually the whole thing packaged into one really huge ass question mark. my life's alright, but i'm worried. maybe i'm being over sensitive or something. but my mind keeps on thinking and thinking lately. thank god im not getting migrains yet.

my future is set. cus i'm uk bound for sure.. by hook or by crook.. but..
i'm worried if i can cope with the studies there..
i'm worried if i'll have enough financial support to stay there for 2 years..
i'm worried if i cant get financial aid.. my parents might have to sell the house..
i'm worried if i'm making the right decisions in life..
i'm worried if uk lifestyle might ruin me..
i'm worried if staying there might leave me not wanting to come home to my family..
i'm worried if i'm getting cocky with my colleagues..
i'm worried if i dont collect enough money to pay off my loan..
i'm worried if my performance at work is just at a minimal..
i'm worried if i'm doing my job right..
i'm worried if i suddenly fall sick from work..
i'm worried if i snap..
i'm worried if im keeping too many things to myself..
i'm worried if i might grow crazy..
i'm worried if my mind will never be at peace..
i'm worried if krystals doing alrite..
i'm worried if the people i work with suddenly fucks up..
i'm worried..
i'm worried....
i'm worried.

the long awaited post

hie guys.

haha its been more than amonth since my last post. heck by the looks of the counter, its no suprise that i'm not getting any hits for the past 4 weeks or so. non the less.. heres the long awaited post which has been so overdue.

first of all. my life now consist of work and only work.

sigh. where do i start, its been an outta the world month for me so far, since my events are now up and with back to back scheduled events. life is really a chore. but hey, thats work. forgive me for not giving more info on what kinda work i've been doing for the past few months..

well here it goes.. i'm currently working for this event management company called Mastermind Solutions. its a small event management company, but the projects are really great. I was hired first as a journalist and my job was suppose to be only reporting on the upcoming events. but who'd known that there was more instored for me, as later i met up with the boss of the company and he asked me if i was interested to take up a job as an event coordinator.

first i thought he was just messing with me, given the fact that i really know shit about events. fuck the most i ever came close to doing events was in college, which hardly even come close to what i'm doing now. so anyways, he gave me this project, its a futsal event which so happens runs for 3 months (march - june). which meant i had a job for 3 months that suited the timeframe i had in malaysia before i flew off.

during the first few weeks, it was moreless like an orientation. the boss gave me small small tasks for us to do like say, if i had to do a futsal event. how would i do it?

the workload slowly double and tripled and though at first i thought that the boss is just some whacked up fella who asks me to do ridiculous things. slowly, little by little did the picture come into view.

my first event was on the 14th march and i had another on the 15th also. so it was back to back events, with zilch knowledge about half the things going on. but it turned out well to my suprise, even with its minor glitches. i was totally knackered after that event.

the following day, i came in the office and my boss showed me the pictures from the day before. only then did i feel my work appreciated. that everything i did so far, wasnt for nothing. after seeing the pictures did i only felt moved and increased my passion for the job. wanting to make the next event better and better.

now.. i've finished about 9 events after the first event. so i can be called a pro at event management.. handling events are a breeze.. ;)

but it took a lotta patience to get me to where i am today... this work really exposed me to whole new perspective about work and how stress can really crack people up. in working life, if u cannot handle stress.. especially in events.. considered urself fucked or just waiting to be fucked. i had my first taste of how fucked up can politics be when it comes to doing business.. i've also learned how to manage people working under u, not to mention those who are paying u.. ;p that it pays off to have PR skills, believe me.. with the proper words.. a million and one thing be done.. for free! haha.

most important thing so far, is u gotta have confidence in ur decisions and u must have reasons on why u chose that decision.

sigh. theres so much more to tell.. but i gotta run..

cus now i work almost 7 days a week on bad weeks. heh. tiring bro!

anyways, working life is so much different from college. cus college doesnt require u to execute every decision u make. for each wrong decision u make, u gotta bear with it either with losses or a real nice ass fucking by ur superior.

there are times which i really need air.. but everyone else seems to be busy too.. guess i gotta keep things to myself for now..

i miss having u by myside.. sigh.

recent pictures of kuantan trip; business trip ok.

skin n bones

Its a team effort

footie n business

being annoying ;p

nothing beats morning beach soccer

lookin goood! hahathis was taken not in kuantan, but in shah alam

Devastation

2 days back, i woke up early with intentions of doing extra work .. mid way editing a couple a pictures and typing out some stuff.. my pc suddenly hanged. and then it restarted.. then the worst thing happened..

" Operating System Not Found "

frantically, i called up my friends and after checking BIOS.
its confirmed, i'm dead.

" Primary Disk: Not found "!!!!!!

my fucking harddisk crashed!! i'm so fucking dead. cus all my works on my pc and theres not much backed up info on my pendrive. that aint exactly the worst of the situation. EVERYTHING ELSE is also GONE! files for the past 3 years are GONE! my pictures, my assignments, my documents, my work, the whole fucking works. all gone.

goddamnit. after having that laptop close to me for the past 3 years and now its all gone. it feels as though my feet got chopped off right under me.. fucking hell. arghhh. feel so pissy.

thank god, my pictures of OZ, Italy and UK are all on cd's. but the rest of it. ;~(

sigh...

the only thing good about the hdd crashing, is i dont have to carry my laptop to work nowadays. but its so fucked cus i cant do work at home at all. die die die. buying a new hdd will also cost me fucken 500 bucks. taking 1/3 outta my pay man. argh. pissy pissy!

load

greetings! im back! haha. just for the moment... anyways..

i just realized that i've havent been writing in a real while.. well apart from the usuall paperwork at work, which is normally just for presentation purposes, the rest is basically for internal usage. nothing really interesting nor moving. then comes the day where i'm suppose to apply for my study loan and it requires me to include a 300 words essay on myself, career course and what not. yea i know 300 words is easy shit for someone with a blog. but hey, like i said, i havent been writing in a real while. voila! an assy procrastinator is born.

work has been a really moving experience, at first it felt really assy and draggy.. it felt as though we're only doing it for the money and all. then comes the actual event and after seeing the pictures. it really changed our whole prospective about our jobs. how we molded something from nothing .. into a fucking huge thing.. which would forever be remembered by the kids. ah.. really awesome experience.

haiyah. i feel so fucking old! now i have a career and all. theres literally no time for lepak. okay fine, i'm exagerating, i can lepak on weekends abit. but still... shit, soon enough i'll be having mid life crisis and shit. fucking hell, this doesnt sound too good. hahaha. think of the moneyy suffieaee.. think o the moneyy..

haha!

oh another interesting happened to me lately was a girl came up to ask for my number during a party. then later she called and she asked me out. omfg i felt like such a girl.. gees, i was just waiting for my legs to get spread and stuff. haha. then later some issue's turned up and it stopped just there. no leg spreading. nopenope.

weird. experience.

hey hey. i just realized its april fool's day. but sadly, theres no april fools joke. old la. ;p

anyways. till later. byebye.

u guys readin this?

harhar!

its beeen... i dunno a week? mebbe more? ghehehe. fact is. i'm too lazy to update anymoree! woohoo. cus i'm busy with other things than blogging. nah dont worry, i'm not shutting this blog down. just putting it aside for a while. so check back say maybe 3 months to see it fully updated. gahhaha. till then. takde update kot.

malas la. busy.

working tomorrow.

6am wakeup.

thats why i lazy blog. haha.

bye.